Why reading stories is essential for your child’s development

What is it that makes stories so special? Why have people told stories and passed them on since the very beginning, and why do traditional communities still do the same today? It is not only a lovely part of the evening routine, a cherished tradition or a fun way to spend time together, but also something that answers a deep inner need. It is not simply about playful moments, although we all know that stories bring great joy both to little ones and to the parent reading aloud. Listening to stories is one of the most important pillars of children’s emotional, mental and intellectual development. Parents and educators are increasingly finding that regular story time has a positive effect on children’s confidence, communication, conflict resolution and sense of values. But why does it play such an important role, and how does it nurture emotional intelligence, imagination and personality?

Stories are a cornerstone of emotional development

Stories are a universal language. They are able to put into words what a small child cannot yet express. Dr Kádár Annamária psychologist, school psychologist and author of the Mesepszichológia book series, emphasises that stories give children emotional security. She herself listened to a great many stories from her mother from early childhood onwards. 

The foundations of emotional security are laid very early on. Rewriting the negative patterns formed at this stage is not easy later in life, though it is not impossible. Stories strengthen a child’s sense of basic trust, that feeling that the world is good, and that it is good to have been born into it and to live in it. 

Stories fit beautifully with a child’s unique way of thinking, because their imagery and way of portraying reality are just like the world created by childlike imagination. They are just as simple, just as extreme. They magnify things in the same way and make room for anything at all to come true. Here, everything is possible and everything has its place. That gives a child a sense of safety. 

They help children overcome fears and difficulties

By identifying with storybook heroes, children can experience and process their own fears, anger or anxieties. The triumph of good over evil gives them hope, and seeing obstacles overcome strengthens the feeling inside them: I can do it too. The magic of stories and their optimistic philosophy lay the foundations for inner strength, faith, support and self-confidence, all of which help children face difficulties later on. 

Through stories, a child creates inner images shaped by their own wishes, and this helps them work through the tensions that build up in everyday life, as well as process both negative and positive feelings. Once this ability develops, it can continue to help them solve problems later in adulthood too. 

Does your child ask for the same story again and again?

If your child seems particularly stuck on one story, it may mean there is an unresolved difficulty they feel this particular story is helping them with in a symbolic way. It speaks their language, and through the story they sense their own inner struggles. So if your child asks for the same tale over and over again, do not try to persuade them of the joys of variety. Let them work through their feelings in their own time through that story. 

The “magical years” and the beauty of magical thinking

“According to old belief, a young child lives in the palm of God’s hand until the age of seven. God’s hand symbolises the world in which the child lives, beyond space and time, in an undivided sacred time,” writes Dr Kádár Annamária in her book Mesepszichológia.

A preschool child cannot yet fully distinguish between what is possible and what is impossible. Their world is a place of magic, where anything can happen if they long for it or imagine it. They believe that magical connections exist between things and events, and that these can influence the world around them. They themselves decide the rules that belong to this, for instance when they feel they must do something in order for the magic to work.

With the help of the story’s double awareness, the child can transform reality and weave it into their own personality in the way they need. The opening and closing parts of a story guide them from reality into fantasy and then back again, just like familiar phrases such as “beyond the hills” or “and if they did not die, they are living still”. 

With magical thinking comes fantasy fibbing, which is at its strongest around the age of four. These little untruths should not be treated simply as lies, because in the child’s mind reality and fantasy are still closely intertwined. If, for example, a child does something naughty and says it was not them, they are not necessarily trying to deny what happened, but rather wishing they could make it unhappen.

What does a good story convey?

Imagine a world in which even the smallest, weakest or most awkward person can get by, and in the end can even triumph and receive the reward they deserve. They usually get there through quick thinking, a noble heart and honest actions. The message of a story helps a little child by allowing them to identify with the hero and, through that, compensate for the vulnerability, smallness or sense of clumsiness they may feel in their own life. 

Choose the right story with care!

Stories and secure attachment